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Monday, January 24, 2005
~ Pain, pain, go away! ~

Pain, pain go away ....

and please don't come in any day... 

   I don’t know what’s inside of me…I don’t know why I’m feeling blue…I’m not sad but just don’t feel right that’s all. I don’t even want to go up and enjoy the weekend…I think this is still a carried over feeling from the conversation with a friend I had last night. Sigh…. Why should I have to come to this?? Would this be that bad? Oh, God! Please take this away and please heal me and make me strong in any manner that this stupid feeling will affect me, in my relationship to my friend, to my best friend and most of all to you as my God. This is not love I believe, this is just a mere admiration or appreciation for this friend of me…Lord, please don’t let this feeling go wrong and that please hold this for me. In this I beg and I pray…

   Talked to a friend from Baguio and indeed had some misunderstanding that hurted me so bad and things that has been revealed to me. Oh God! I love this friend of mine and that I really can’t understand why should she have to think of me as a rival in her relationship with another best friend of mine??. Lord, I’m praying to please take it away from her and that please hold our hearts that we may not think each other as an opponent for his attention and love…sigh…It did hurt me because after all the while she think of me as a rival which even in my dreams I never thought that things to her…goodness…well…I felt so sad really I am…the thought of this friend about me made me so sad…. But God you know me full well…why does people tend to judged me the way I looked and the way I act?? Sigh, but it is you Oh God who knew me full well…I’m praying for these friend or friends of mine.. Please touch their hearts and let them realize that I am indeed a friend.

   Went home late updating my on-line blog and chatting to other friends on-line…

   Send me home safe Oh Lord and that stay and don’t leave me….

   Received text messages from Chinnie that made me smile and cry…. And hoped and prayed that why can’t all friends of mine be like her??

   Sent: 21:12:58 01-20-2005 Good pm! Star my dearest best friend.. I know u might b on your way 2 bed now. Star, I just want u2know that my feelings were indescribable as I read your messages here in d journal. U r a very splendid & wonderful friend. I AM SO LUCkY 2HAV MET & KNOWN U. Forever I will cherish you my friend. I love you Star. Take care always. God bless you my precious friend..muwahh…




Posted at Monday, January 24, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

 
Thursday, January 20, 2005
~ Falling In-Love? ~

FaLlInG iN-lOvE??


Let me praise you for all of my days…

Let me sing to you what my heart says…

Let me dance as long as the music plays…

Oh Lord it is you that I have to praise….

   Thursday, second day of the last days of the working days of the third week of the first month of year 2005. Indeed time flies so swiftly…it was not long ago that I am into an agony and right now feeling free, already healed, already released and already ready to "Fall-In-Love"?? Well, that I still have to figured out…(",) Lord, it was not hidden from you that what I’m feeling for this special friend of mine..sigh…hope this friend of mine knows how to read between the lines….

   I got a good night sleep and I did woke up so early to begin my day with, of course my daily in-take of vitamins (scripture reading, praying and journal entry) is already done. Left home so early to avoid the morning rush. Arrived office, check mails, prepared manuals and things needed when I go on-board on the floor, and of course I prayed hard to the Father to shower me knowledge and wisdom as well as millions of patience to handle the Aussie clients. I don’t know but then I still feel that there is a need for me to moved out and go further that I may be able to do better….

   I haven’t seen my spiritual brother on-line…perhaps he is busy now to his new job bless him Father and that prosper the works of his hand…. I answered all the mails on my mail box…Lord, thank you so much for all the friends that you have given me… indeed You are my God…

   Home late for finishing some of my reports and on-line journal…arrived home and mom is sick.. Lord please heal my mom and be upon her. I gave her a medicine to take so that her fever will go down and gave her a mint massage…Lord, hear my prayers as well…

   I texted Chinnie, Lizette and Myla, my girlfriends whom I have been praying for…Just checking on them on how they are doing… I was so touched on what Chinnie texted me….God, bless her and always be upon her as well as into my other friends…thank you so much for this day of mine…indeed you are my God…

   Thank you indeed for this wonderful day…went to sleep after a short prayer…sigh..You know me full well…. Lord, am I falling in-love? I pray Lord, that bless this special friend of mine whom I appreciated and that please handle my heart that I may not be wrong in loving him…take this away if this is not meant to be and if this was not meant for him…but let it stays if were meant to be…

Forever praise and glory be yours….. Amen.

Posted at Thursday, January 20, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

 
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
~ The Cry of My Heart ~

ThE cRy Of My HeArT



   Thank you Lord for another day…thank you Lord for another life…thank you Lord for another sunshine, thank you Lord for another work, thank you Lord for another trials and most of all I thank you Lord for another hope…..indeed every day is another day to be thankful of…

 

   Calls kept on pouring in…sigh…when this could be ended…Aussie’s are quite irate….packages are delayed…couriers are offended…and me wanted to take a break…sigh…Lord shower me a million of Patience for today…..Your words oh God is my delight…it gives me courage and gives me hope…it is like a cool water flowing from the mountains with snow covered Alps….and truly indeed refreshes my tiring soul….

 

   Got mails from my yahoo group and from a dear friend…really very touchy and encouraging….fellowship with my spiritual brother on-line it made my day complete….Thank so much Lord for all of these friends and that Lord I am praying to you to please bless them and prosper the works of their hands…..Hope I could meet them face to face…..

 

   A lot of work still awaits me into my inner court (another office) after my reinforcements has been forward into the open ground (floor)..My tiring body wants to say I have to retreat yet my mind says no and continue the fight….survivors I may be but not enough for my soul still longs for triumph to reach…

 

   Sigh…when will I tell him that I love him so…and that Lord I’m lifting this up to you…but why …Oh why I’m feeling this….which I myself cannot deny…I hated this, you know it’s true for each day I live I know it’s true….but God oh why it’s me to feel this way…when all along I don’t needed this…It’s not hidden from you Lord that I’m willing to wait but please not this person that I treasured most…Oh God! Bakit sya pa???....Lord, I’m crying this out hard into you and that Lord if this was not meat to be and if he’s not meant for me then please take this away from me…Oh God…please take this away….I don’t want to feel this way….but Lord if he is meant for me then please let this stay and give me patience for him to wait ..that the love inside of him for me be awaken in Your time…Oh God….you know me full well and that ~ Patiently I’ll Wait ~ …let me be still and love him in silence of my heart…..Lord, I’m lifting him up to you…I’m lifting my heart into you…handle it and don’t make me fall….make me strong into You…let your love covers me again….When the darkness fills my senses be there oh God…be there and make me home…be there and Let me feel you Lord and be there to comfort me….let me feel your love instead and let me enjoy your company… Your time I know it’ll happen and that let me wait for him…..~Patiently I’ll Wait ~….

 

Posted at Wednesday, January 19, 2005 by Star-Tariray
LeT mE kNoW UR tHoUgHtS.......  

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